Penelope Trunk, one of my favorite bloggers, often writes about what I'm thinking and might be too embarassed to say aloud.
Yesterday, Penelope hit on the topic of time management and sex. In her first marriage, she admits, she barely had sex, which is a mistake she vows not to have in her second marriage. So, she keeps tabs. But the problem she encounters is one that many women face. Our nights have become as busy as our days, particularly when we have children.
For working moms who rush home from work to spend time with their families, the evening is the only time that we can finish things up. We talk to our kids, look over homework, put them to bed and then — we retreat to our home offices or our laptops to get to whatever we didn't get to earlier. I do this ALL the time.
But for me and many other women, the evening also ia the only time my husband and I can spend time together.
Trunk writes that for her and her hubby, "It’s the time we talk about schedules, we watch TV shows on Netflix, and sometimes, if everything goes well, we have sex."
Now, this is where the problem lies. How many of you have had an argument with your husband about being on your computer at night and not paying him attention (and this includes sex)? Is your hand raised because mine is way up high!
Because of the ease in which we can log back into work from home, it's tempting to let our work creep into our evenings.
Penelope says calls sex "the hardest time mangement decision of my day." She writes: "sex and work and kids don’t go well together because the only time that’s left over for sex is the time when you are done taking care of kids and have to make up the lost work time. There’s a reason that you have a lull in your email during dinnertime and then it picks up after kids go to bed: it’s all the parents of the workforce fitting in family time. And not sex."
Not long ago, I was chatting with a woman who consults mom entrepreneurs. She told me she worries about the health of marriages because so many women are up at night clacking on their key boards — and not having sex or even having a simple conversation with their spouse. ( Men, of course, do this too)
Maybe we all need to heed Penelope's warning, keep tabs, and think more consciously about time management and sex. Maybe we need to make time for our spouses because if we don't, sex often becomes the first to go, and marriage is soon to follow.
Thanks Penelope for the reminder!